Our Frausted Life

By Syd

I got this brand new carseat in November of 2024. A neighbor was selling it super cheap. Apparently, they bought it, but then the stroller they bought also had a car seat so they had an extra. I felt a tug on my heart to get it – in faith. I told the Lord that I knew something was coming and I was getting it to prepare for our little miracle on the way. It was shortly after that I found out I was pregnant! I thought, “OH! THAT is why I had that tug to jump on that car seat!”

That seat sat next to the sweet bouncer that was given to us by our sweet sister for an entire year. I would walk by our nursery and would see those seats sitting side by side just waiting to be utilized – to carry life and do what it was created to do.

As most of you know, we lost our sweet baby just a couple weeks after we found out we were pregnant. Still, I hung onto these things because we were still hoping to adopt here and had faith that would come to fruition. Also, we haven’t given up hope that we will be blessed with a miracle baby from my womb.

When we had to part ways from the adoption agency we were using here on island in November, I knew that these seats wouldn’t be used here. Even if I did get pregnant at that time, I wouldn’t give birth until we were back in the states, therefore, we’d have to pack these things and have them shipped in our household goods. I felt in my heart it was time I part with these things and bless a child here on Guam.

I saw that the local foster care house on island was asking for car seats. Wow! Perfect timing. Then, a neighbor posted on our neighborhood Facebook page that she would be taking donations to this specific organization within the week, so I reached out to her letting her know I had things to donate.

When I told Nik about what I planned to do, he said “Are you sure?” I had complete peace about doing it. He was perfectly fine donating these things as well. I think he was just concerned for me. I didn’t have a connection to these things. I had a connection to the idea of how they could have been used and what they were meant for.

I just didn’t want to hang onto them as we don’t know when they will be used by us, and there are babies who need them NOW. Instead of them collecting dust in our nursery, we want them filled with life.

That week, I gathered these seats together by the front door and I prayed over them. I prayed for the little blessings that would sit and play in these seats. I prayed over their families, both foster and biological. I prayed that these little lives would be protected and healthy, but more importantly, I prayed that they would know the love of the Lord and would always walk in His Light.

I share this because this is a part of our story of growing our family. We held onto these things with hope for the future while here on Guam. Our sister gave us the bouncer when we thought we would be adopting a sweet baby back in 2023 (a story for another time). We’ve held onto it for 2 years, but it felt right to give it to a family here. I know that was what it was meant for.

Just because we have given up these things doesn’t mean we’ve lost hope. Just the opposite: we are pretty excited and hopeful for our future as we look towards California. We know God has some BIG things lined up for us there, and we have faith that the growth of our family is one of those things.

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.“