Our Frausted Life

By Syd

Today, I got to experience my very first 5k, but it wasn’t like a typical 5k: this one had MUD (LOTS OF MUD) and 16 obstacles! One of my best friends and I went together. She actually asked me a few months ago before I came back to the states, and without hesitation, I said YES.

This blog won’t be about all the specifics of the day. Maybe some, but in reflecting on today, I made a realization that I’d like to share.

We tackled that course and did big things I didn’t even know I was capable of. I thought I was going to gas out shortly after starting – I really never did. I thought I’d walk and be one of the last to finish – we weren’t. We actually jogged way more than I thought I would.

There was this particular obstacle I saw first thing while waiting at the START line and it intimidated me HUGELY: this cargo net wall thing.

We ran under this to get to the starting line. I took one look at that and thought, “How on earth will I do that? I DON’T do heights and I haven’t climbed things in ages.” I knew it would come up eventually and I would have to face it, but in that moment, I had another 3 miles to worry about.

Like I said, the course went on and we got DIRTY. I mean, we had mud in places I don’t even want to think about. We were bruised and cut – my knee bled some from crawling on jagged rocks (yeah, knee pads next time for sure!). We carried ruck sacks, pulled heavy weights behind us, carried 2 20lb. ammo cans – like, this was legit – but I honestly think I could have done more. I could have pushed myself harder. I was trying so hard not to gas myself too early because let’s face it: I’m pretty out of shape.

When we got back around to that cargo net wall thing, I wasn’t fearful, just determined. I knew after that was the finish line and then we could shower off. I just had to do this.

I got started with one foot on one ring and then just began to steadily climb. Alyssa actually started up before I did, and somehow, I made it down before her. In hindsight, I should have waited and done it with her, but I’m not sure if I was just so stinking proud of myself for tackling that thing that I was just focused on getting on the ground myself. The top part we had to crawl carefully so we wouldn’t fall through (well, our legs at least – my body would not fit through those holes… get real,). As I got to the top trying to figure out how my legs would crawl around and not fall, I just kept saying “I can do all things through Christ… I can do all things through Christ…” and then I thought of our kids and future family. If I can do really hard things to get them here and to show them how much I love them and how wanted they are (and all the pain I’ve been through for them), then this spider net thing (whatever) should be a cake walk. I’ve done hard things. This isn’t one.

When I got to the bottom, and realized I was the first down, and how I did it by myself, I was extremely excited. I could picture Nik on the sidelines cheering me on and I know he’d be so proud of me. I mean, this is the same woman who would be terrified, and I mean TERRIFIED of escalators. (Seriously, I walked the ramps down from a high level in the Superdome in New Orleans rather than take an escalator down.) I can’t look over railings most of the time – vertigo. So, for me to do this was a HUGE victory. To complete this at all is a huge victory! (Shout out to my amazing Alyssa for running this with me and encouraging me!)

As I reflected on this moment after I got home, I realized that there are going to be those mountains in our lives – ones that look IMPOSSIBLE to tackle or climb over. Our fears get the better of us. We would rather look away or find a way around it than tackle it head on. Once we’re faced with it though, we have a decision to make: have faith the Lord will see us through and move this mountain or we can give up and call it quits. I did have the option to go around this obstacle. We also have the option to give up on things in life and call it quits.

But God. He shows up every single time. He sees us through. It may not always be the second we want it, but He always comes through in His own time. We may see that mountain coming up ahead, just how I knew that cargo net hill thing was near the end of this course – it was coming- but what are we doing before we get to it to prepare for it? Are we praying? Are we reading the Word so it’ll give us the faith and courage to battle up this hill alongside God? Do we see the reward after we get to the summit of the climb and begin to make our way down? Meaning, do we realize something good will come from our focus, drive, and perseverance of this mountain?

Regardless of what is going on in your life, you have either climbed a hard mountain or are about to. I pray you find the boldness to tackle this head on, but know you don’t have to climb alone. God has you every step of the way – and you never know: once you try and begin with that first step, it just maybe easier than you thought. You just had to show the Lord you have trust in Him first.

Nik and I have battled a huge mountain with our fertility issues. Procedures, testing, ER visits, miscarriage, IUI fails. This has been the biggest mountain for us to climb in our marriage. We haven’t given up though. We know we will see the summit soon. Just recently, we’ve actually had every door open to us to grow our family: biologically, adoption, and even fostering (we are praying on that one… we’ll share more soon on all that when the time is right.). It’s like God is just making a way everywhere for us. We know this is our season. We are just going to keep climbing and looking up knowing God’s already at the summit. He can see the other side, and we trust Him that the view of our life from that spot looks beautiful.