Our Frausted Life

Today was a quiet day. Nik was up at 5am and out the door. I decided to get a little more sleep before beginning my day. Yesterday I got up with Nik at 5am and stayed up. Mondays are my deep cleaning days where I clean the bathrooms, wash all the rugs in the house, wash the bedding, sweep and mop floors, etc. It was my first day to be up that early and stay awake until we went to bed that night. I actually felt really good and accomplished. I didn’t get tired which I thought was really strange. Today, however, I decided to sleep in until just after 8am.

There wasn’t much to do today but some small administrative stuff. I needed to run to the post office on base. Nik needed more shaving cream since he’s now shaving 5 times a week, so I ran to the NEX (Navy Exchange). (It’s so strange to see photos of him from 4+ months ago with his thick, red, wild beard! That’s the Nik I met and fell in love with, but his bald face is growing on me.) I did a few small chores around the house, but for the most part, I just relaxed. I talked to a few folks back home before they went to sleep. I’m settling into this new norm. This quietness that envelopes my life now.

By 4pm I began dinner as Nik had texted me earlier to say he’d be home, more than likely, by 5pm. I really hadn’t thought about the menu for today, so I just pulled together what was readily and quickly available- protein spaghetti and meatballs, my special marinara sauce I make myself, salad, and “homemade” garlic bread using whole grain bread (I didn’t have French bread, so I made my own garlic spread and put it on bread we had and threw that in the oven). Just as Nik pulled in the drive at 4:57pm (I just sensed he drove up), I opened the door for him and greeted him with a big hug. Dinner was ready – just had to wait on the bread to toast. I wanted that fresh for him. By 5pm, we were eating, and by 5:30pm, we had eaten and cleared the table. Nik plays pickleball in town with a community organization once a week and tonight was the night he was going so off he was before 6pm. (Any other weeknight, we will watch a movie together, work on a puzzle, or go for an evening stroll after dinner.)

As I finished the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, I realized it was just 6pm. The house is clean. All I hear is the dishwasher running. It’s so peaceful… and it’s only 6pm. I caught myself reminiscing at the beginning of the year when Nik held 3 jobs. Some nights he wouldn’t get home until nearly 10pm. I would either take him dinner to work, or make sure dinner was packed so he could take it with him. He worked back-to-back most days. Get off at 4pm from one job and head over to another for several hours. We really didn’t have these moments where we could sit at the table, eat dinner, and talk about each other’s days. Mainly because we didn’t have a dining table (ha!), but we really never saw each other for dinner. We wouldn’t even have breakfast or lunch together either. Life was chaotic. We were doing all we could just to scrape by and hold ourselves above water. God always provided though because we always had just enough.

We would often talk about what these days would look like for us – when he was finally finished with all his requirements, and we were “active”. I remember telling Nik I wanted to stay home and take care of him and the home. (Still true – however, I think I’ll need a project or two at some point! Or to serve in ministry somewhere.) We tried to guess what our house would look like, and what our schedule would be. Would we get to see each other often? Would work take him away a lot or would he be deployed most of the time?

Now that we are finally here, I can’t say it’s exactly what we imagined – we really had no idea! But the life that we are creating and molding is exactly what we talked about. I’m finally able to step into a role I believe that God has prepared me for. I am at the age and maturity where I understand the importance of what I’m doing – what WE are doing. I’m so happy to get up at 6:30am and make him breakfast if that’s what is needed/wanted. I will make him lunch if he wants to come home to eat with me, and 2 -3 times a week, he does! I have dinner ready by the time he comes home. We have the space and means to actually have a home cooked meal, and we be able to sit together and enjoy it each night. I don’t say all this to boast or pat myself on the back. I say it because we’ve come SO far during our nearly 5 years of marriage. We’ve grown so much. We’ve hurt and healed together. We’ve learned some hard lessons, and we battled together. Through our toughest trials, we’ve kept God at the center. God brought us here to this point in our lives. It has been such a beautiful thing to witness and walk. Nik and I talk sometimes about how one day we’ll “tell our kids….” all the things that could have caused us to fall and stumble and made life SO hard for us, yet we overcame by the power of God – that glory goes to Him. We continued to fight and battle together because there was a higher calling on our lives that we had to work together to get to. That during our battles, the Lord was using us and was allowing our messes to be a message and a light to those around us. These hardships became an inspiration and encouragement to others that we didn’t even realize while we were in the trenches of it all.

All this to say, I’m so blessed to be in this season. I’m so blessed God uses and used our trials, hardships, and messes to bring us into an even better and greater season. A season where we can really focus on one another without so much noise and stress.

So, to those of you who asked about what a normal weekday looks like for us right now, it’s very Leave it to Beaver (without Beav and Wally, and where Ward puts on his NWUs first thing in the morning instead of a suit – oh, and I do not wear a dress around the house like June.) and we are enjoying it immensely. I will do my best to not take it for granted because I know once the Lord blesses us with all our little Nik Juniors, our routine and schedule will look a lot differently! It will also look very differently for me when Nik is deployed for months at a time… Thank you, Lord, for all Your provisions and for seeing us through to this moment in our lives.

Y’all continue to pray for us as we are still transitioning into this new life and continue to settle. And as always, if you need prayer, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We are a message, text, or call away.

*For those of you battling through a tough season, keep walking through it. God is next to you, and if you’ll let Him, He’s going to fight that battle for you. Don’t feel you need to do it alone or even give up. God has already won that victory – nothing that happens tomorrow is a surprise to Him. He’s got it all figured out. Trust the process and walk quietly so you don’t miss what He’s trying to tell you. Just know that you WILL come out of that trench you’re in if you allow the Savior to cover you in His peace and walk with you. If you feel you are going to give up, ask yourself why? Are you carrying that burden alone and trying to do everything yourself? Of course you are going to get tired! Stop trying to do life alone. Call upon the Father – lay it down at the foot of the cross. He’s ready and waiting to stand with you and for you. And guess what? He’s already defeated the enemy and broken those chains of bondage for you because He LOVES you that much. You are worthy, my friend. You WILL overcome through the power of the Holy Spirit! If you need someone to talk to or some guidance or direction, please reach out to either Nik or me. We will be so joyful to speak with you anytime. God loves you, and so do we!