Our Frausted Life

Nik and I have spent nearly every Father’s Day over the last few years serving at church. We’re up early to prepare any last detail needed, anywhere from AVL to helping set up for an event that day. After service, we usually would do lunch with family somewhere. I’m so thankful for those memories and moments. However, this is the first year we celebrated on our own. While we will miss honoring all the fathers in our lives, it was really nice to reflect on the day and what it means to us now, within our own family.

Today felt different. It was the first Father’s Day we really got to focus on Nik as a dad and celebrate him. First thing this morning as I gave Nik the biggest hug and told him “Happy Father’s Day”, I began to cry. I’m so blessed with one of the best, and there is nothing more I want in this life than to see him with our children. The brief moment we had of him taking care of me (and Landry) gave me a glimpse of the father I know he is and will be. (I also see it when he’s with our nieces and nephews, and when he was a teacher – the man is a natural.) We both found ourselves choked up once again as we sat together and read my handwritten card together. (My handwriting can sometimes be messy, and I have to help Nik decipher my chicken scratch.) While our tears may have been some of sadness, we count it as joy because we know our Heavenly Father is working on our behalf, and our miracle and long-awaited prayer will come to fruition soon.

I wanted to do all the things that Nik loves, and everything we talked about doing. I felt, at first, we may not be able to get it done, but guess what? We did every last thing. Although we went place to place and stayed busy throughout the day, it never felt rushed. There was no sense of urgency or anxiety (that comes from me!).

After church, we grabbed a quick bite at home as we prepared for our first true beach outing together. I didn’t think to leave out a bathing suit from our HHG (household goods) shipment, so I had to create something out of shorts and a tank top – it worked and was certainly good enough. We grabbed towels, water, and sunblock, and went on our way. We tested out one of the very private beaches we have on base, and it was the best decision. While we weren’t there very long (we really aren’t beach people who stay all day – usually two hours is our max at any beach), but I’ll say, it was truly peaceful.

I spent some time searching for unique shells or rocks along the shore, and in my walking (or sitting at the shoreline), I reflected on a lot. During that time, Nik was out in the water floating (or is that called “Treading water”? I have no idea – I can’t do it anyway!) and at one point, lying out on a beach towel to dry in the sun. I didn’t ask him what he was thinking about while he was out in the water, but I always find these times in nature that I am close to God. I ask Him questions or just tell Him what I’m thinking. Sometimes, I look for analogies in the situations or environments I’m in. For instance, as I sat on the shore and looked at all the different shells and rocks roll back and forth with the tide, I thought about how that’s like people on earth: we’re all so different yet together we make a pretty beautiful sight. Anyway, I digress…

The “L” shaped rock I found on the shore. I chuckled a bit because the Lord always has a way to bring us hope with these little signs. I felt like Landry was with us today and that gives me strength.

After the beach, we showered and changed, and we went to see a movie Nik picked: “Inside Out 2”. (We already saw the new “Garfield” movie yesterday.) I’m not a big Disney person these days so I was surprised when the film actually exceeded my expectations. An even bigger plus is we found the movie theater we both really love on the island, AND now have favorite seats, so that’s a double win.

We went for dessert BEFORE dinner. I had Nik try (okay, we split it!) a cinnamon and sugar pretzel from Auntie Anne’s because I told him when I think of that place, I get a taste for dessert. I never go for the actual plain pretzel (I’m not a fan of all that salt). He gave the sweet pretzel a thumbs up. We then headed to the place he said he wanted to go to: Cold Stone Creamery. We enjoyed a cup of ice cream outside on the patio.

When we got home, we tag teamed dinner: he made the steaks, and I made my brussel sprouts. Thinking about it now, maybe it was really fitting we had “sprouts” today. That was Landry’s nickname. Nik’s sweet tooth was still aching a couple hours later, so I finished off the night making his favorite, chocolate chip cookies, while we watched a movie.

I think today was an incredibly beautiful day. It was so full of fun, laughter, a few tears, and so much love. I would’ve handed Nik the moon if I could have given it to him.

While it may be easy to focus on what we don’t have on days like today, we chose to focus on what we do and how greatly God has blessed us. Landry is never far from our hearts, but we are grateful for the time we were given with Landry, yet more importantly, we are grateful for who we are today because of it all. God didn’t waste our hurt. He turned it into something beautiful, and Nik and I are even closer because of it. We are thankful for the preparation He is working in us both, and the time we have been given to be the best versions of ourselves and grow to love each other even more than ever before.

To the man I will choose over and over again in any lifetime and for the rest of my life, Happy Father’s Day. I love you more than words can accurately describe.